We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
