i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize