New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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