I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
