how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
