I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
