I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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