Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your dad touched me again.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
