God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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