My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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