The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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