her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
