his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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