so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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