I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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