I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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