went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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