Pants 0. Shit 1.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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