You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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