I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
