But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You made out with two different species that night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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