He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
