Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
