Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
