i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
