What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
