She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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