You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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