hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
