We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
