i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
