I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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