Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
