It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
