Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
