I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
