I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she looked like the before picture.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
