im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I touched a dick in church today
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
