If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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