If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
