the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
