Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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