You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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