I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
