Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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