there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
