and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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