I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
