Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
