I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
