Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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