found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
