dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
