I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
