yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
