You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
