I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
that is very illegal...i love you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
