OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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