he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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