I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize