so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
